Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize