i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
