god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
