so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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