your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
