I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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