i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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