She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
