mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
