Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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