i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
