I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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