Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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