Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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