Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
