I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
