Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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