So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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