I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize