best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
