Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
