Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
