And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize