Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I think people are normalizing furries
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
