Got a toothbrush?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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