Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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