matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
