forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
