but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
