Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
