We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
