When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
