Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
