We got so high we made milksteak
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
