we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Panties = found
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize