Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
