Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
