dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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