3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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