this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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