I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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