I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
