I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
