A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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