So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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