There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
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