Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
