tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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