Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
How does one acquire holy water?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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