She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Randomize
