I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
