I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize