is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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