The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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