We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
