Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
