I'm jealous of your bromance
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
