ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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