I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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