And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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