I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
