I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
