btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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