I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
