I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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