It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
