Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
