fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
