You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
