sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
