But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
