I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
