If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
