consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize