where am i from again
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
