found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
