i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize