just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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