i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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