just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
